Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
