she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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