When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
