You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
