Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
