i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We have started to decorate penises.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
