Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
