the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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