I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
