He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
