batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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