your parents love me but you hate me
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize