There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize