Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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