so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
