he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
