She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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