never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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