How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
