When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
