My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
