the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
