and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
