how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Holy sore nipples Batman
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize