"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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