return my video game
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Randomize
