Duck Duck Cougar?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
