butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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