I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
