It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
