You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
PANTIES FOUND
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
