my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
