hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
