I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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