I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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