On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The beers last night were like the tears from god
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
