If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
