FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
