There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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