Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
