why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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