That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
