Me. At least after what I've been through.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
