just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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