I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
