Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
