She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
