summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
