I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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