Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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