it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
