I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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