Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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