I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
