i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
