Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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