Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
