If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
