Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
