Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
