Your mouth is God's brothel.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
