Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
