i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
