Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
