38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
This house was built for laser tag.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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