She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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