I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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