the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
