My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
