Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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