I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
