I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
